“I’ve lived a good life, I have no regrets,” said Barbara Joisten. Words that many people dream they could say once they reach the age of 85. A wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend and mentor, she is a woman with many titles. We all want to know how Barbara has done it. No regrets and living a beautiful life filled with joy? The key is her true superpower, compassion. This is what sets her apart: the warmth of her heart, the dedication to family and her philosophy of helping others.
Barbara was born in Germany in 1940. Like many others at the time, she lost her father in the war and lived with her mother and sister. She recalls her mother as courageous, always providing for her family despite her constraints. One day, she told her daughters they were moving to Canada, a peaceful country where they could create lives for themselves. Barbara highlighted that the shift was immense due to the language change from German to English, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. An enthusiastic reader, she treasures the storytelling of Rosamunde Pilcher most of all. Historical fiction stories on immigration, daily life, family and new beginnings, Barbara said she could read these stories over and over again. “Every time I read Pilcher’s books, I can always find something I didn’t notice before”. “If I have a good book, I’d forget everything else”.
Barbara met her husband at a dance, a chance encounter filled with joy, waltzing and mingling. What does love mean to a woman who achieved a blissful marriage of 50 years? I asked Barbara what made their relationship so strong. Two words: trust and respect. Their favourite activity was talking, to be truly encapsulated in each other’s thoughts. Together, they built something rare: a relationship that sees the whole person as imperfect and human, and they choose compassion every time. She reflected on her memories of building a family with her husband. I asked if she could go back to any time in her life, what would she choose? She smiled and said that when her children were young. She loved being a mother and grandmother, being there for her family when they needed her. Some might call it a labour of love, but it was simply love in action for her. She told a story about her husband and granddaughter, who would sit on their porch after dinner to “watch the world go by”. It warms Barbara’s heart to know her granddaughter has such beautiful, peaceful memories with her grandfather, a testament to the life she created with care and resilience in Canada.
Barbara has built many lifelong friendships over the course of her life so far. She mentioned meeting a childhood friend at 12, a neighbour back in Germany, with whom she still keeps in touch today. “When we are together, it’s like we’ve never been apart”. She formed lifelong friendships with choir members she met through her husband, and with fellow parents during her children’s school years. “You need to have some friends in your life”, she said, as the bonds she’s made bring comfort and delight to her life journey. Now at Shepherd Village, she gives back to others, helping as many residents as possible feel at home.
“I’ve known Barbara for ten years. She’s very outgoing and is always helping her neighbours in the Gardens” – Irmgard Haug.
She reflected on the compassion others offered her during difficult times and highlighted how immensely grateful she was for that support. She finds joy in the simple pleasures here, such as coffee, conversation, and friendship that never grows old.
As Barbara repeated throughout our conversation, love takes work in all relationships. It is not simply a feeling but an action. You must discuss your dilemmas instead of shying away; you must have that uncomfortable conversation with a loved one to resolve negative emotions; above all, you must have compassion. Barbara mentioned her mother’s saying on dealing with conflict, “the smarter one gives in”, highlighting one’s ability to react with humility and humbleness when engaging with the people closest to you. “You don’t gain anything from being angry with someone,” said Barbara, words that strongly resonate with her mother’s advice and helped her maintain good relationships with others throughout her life.
When faced with the most challenging decision of her life, she chose to let compassion guide her, which took the type of dedication and strength most would have difficulty finding within themselves. Yet Barbara continued to serve her community at Shepherd Village, making sure as many people as possible felt welcome. Listening to her describe her love for her husband, family, and friends reminded me of Corinthians 13:4-7.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
The world doesn’t always sing the praises of people like Barbara Joisten, yet her life hums with a grace that lingers in every life she’s touched. She remembers birthdays when others forget, each card a small act of kindness and sincerity. She’s the shoulder you find when no one else is near, the steady hand that lifts, the warm smile across the café table, and so much more, too many gifts to fully name. She poured her compassion into those around her without hesitation, and in that giving, found the quiet joy of watching happiness unfold. Maybe we should all take a moment to watch the world go by and reflect on how we can contribute to the lives of others just as Barbara has done for many years. Barbara is who we should all aspire to be a true hero.
“Love each other, take care of each other, live a peaceful life with God’s blessing.” ~ Barbara Joisten 2025